Submitted by Runners Shit (Some City, Some State) on 05.31.16
I fucked up.
I was on a run to prepare for a half-marathon in December. Today's run was a bit longer, only about 9 miles. It was still pretty fast paced, and would take me a little bit over an hour to complete.
If you were/are a runner, you know that diareeha after a hard run is expected.
This time. This time it was early. I got the early gurgly at mile 4, but I was almost to the half-way mark. I kept pushing and turned around.
At mile 5, it was clear I had to shit, but could tough it out.
At mile 6, I was clenching my ass cheeks together, and doing a hybrid of a waddle/run and was desperately praying to God I don't shit myself.
Mile 7 was danger zone. Turtle was touching cloth. I repeat, turtle was touching cloth. I was about to burst and had to pause every few steps to try to suction any shit back into my butthole.
I waddled a few more places and broke. I quickly ran behind the park in my town, and took a shit. Holy hell. I saw Peter at the gates as I released the most foul, most girthy peice of shit in my life. I felt I was the one being fucked.
I cleaned up and walked back in shame. Fuck. My. Life.
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