Submitted by Just missed it (Bloomington, MN) on 08.03.15
The last few weeks the wife and I have been lubing up our colons with plenty of Metamucil in a feeble attempt to lose some weight.
Yesterday, I doubled-down by having Chipotle burritos for lunch, and a huge sub-sandwich for dinner.
After my morning drive to work, I stopped at my desk on the way to work out, and then...the tummy rumble. I started to walk fast, but there was no way I was going to make it. Then...the bathroom...damn! My shorts had a waist-tie, a belt *and* the button and the zipper. Folks that's just too many things to remove. Standing in the stall with the *door STILL OPEN*, my sphincter was no longer any match for this mudslide. Wave after wave shot out of my ass all over the toilet, wall, underwear and my pants. It just kept coming...a huge pile trapped in the underwear that I didn't have time to remove and the splatterhouse that, now, was the bathroom stall. I used quite a bit of toilet paper to clean up. I threw away my underwear in the trash, still full of shit (they weighed about a pound). Luckily, I saved my shoes and socks.
Since I was going to work out (well, *before* this happened), I did bring gym shorts. I wore them proudly all day.
When I went back into the bathroom later - wow, did it stink!
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 340 Not So Much 312
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