Submitted by Underground (London, Some State) on 06.13.15
Coming of a tube train in Moorgate, London. Usually teeming with office workers in the day, thankfully nearly deserted at night. Suddenly realized I needed to shit straight away. Ran out of station in a panic looking for a venue. There was none. It was either shit in my boxers and jeans or pull them down and shit right there in the street. I did both. Didn't quite manage to avoid soiling my jeans and leaving shit everywhere inside them - enough to have a big noticeable brown stain on the back.
Did manage to shit openly in the street, just squatting in a door way casually as a few passers by across the street left the station but the didn't seem to clock me.
I then found a more hidden place in a pub garden that was closed (would have been brimming with City workings in working hours who would have seen me pulling down my jeans and shitting in the street)and attemped to 'clean up'. Was no good. I went in to the station looking to make my way by train, but realized I had spattered myself way to much, that coupled with the big brown patch in my jeans that had a couple of girls noticing and I decided to walk a mile through back alleys and relative seclusion till I got to a disabled toilet at kings cross station where I properly cleaned up as best I could.
I had to put the jeans on wet, and the get on a train 30 miles north to my home town.
I don't believe I was caught shitting out in the street, openly and in plain view. And in London a lot of people don't notice you. I know a few did. But I am so glad it was only a few people, so that I can laugh about it now.
Had it been the same time on a working day rather than a Saturday night, I would have been shitting my pants in the financial district and hundreds more people would have seen this guy walking around with shit caked all over his jeans and a big, brown patch around his arse, who's obviously shit himself.
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 457 Not So Much 471
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