Submitted by CanIGoHomeNow? (Redding, CA) on 10.15.14
Right, so this was less of an "Oops, I seem to have shit myself" moment and more of a "Did I really just shit myself?" moment.
It was the middle of Freshman year and I didn't have the best relationship with any of my teachers, but the one who hated my guts most was my Chemistry teacher (and before you ask, no he's not played by Bryan Cranston). I was always getting the practical assessments wrong and the homework results were enough to make one cry. In my other classes, my work ranged from could-be-a-little-better to alright, but for some reason, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wrap my head around Chemistry. Anyway, I've always been quite a panicky guy, too, like if I forgot to do the dishes at home or if I slept in, shit like that. So on the day of the shittening, it was about 2 periods away from Chemistry when I realized I had completely forgotten to do my homework. I didn't want my mom getting a text from my teacher, so I needed some sort of excuse to not have to hand in the homework and couldn't depend on my teacher forgetting to ask for it. So, next period I tell my English teacher I feel ill and need to go home. Here's the thing: I could've said flu, I could've said the cold, but no. I flat out tell my teacher I have Diarrhea. Fucking. Diarrhea. Teacher gets suspicious and takes me out of the class, saying I don't look pale, don't have a temperature (he checked my forehead, get your head out of the gutter) and show no signs of having Diarrhea. I really REALLY didn't want to face my Chemistry teacher, so I did what, at the time, I felt I had to do... I grab my stomach, keel over, and brick right in my pants, moans and all. Teacher freaks out, I freak out, dad gets called to pick me up and I have to hover my ass over the seat all the way home. I go to bed and have that brief Ferris Bueller moment with my hands behind my head. Then it really hits me: I just fucking shit myself to get out of school
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 369 Not So Much 370
Submit your best "Oops I Shit Myself" story!