Submitted by Brandyn Henry (Houston, TX) on 09.01.14
I was going from Columbus,OH to Baltimore to take my girlfriend to her cousin that lived there. We both thought it a swell idea to get drunk and high as shit and stumbled around Pennsylvania for awhile. At one point we were at the Shanksville 9/11 memorial and got inside the gift shop or whatever the fuck it was. About an hour later, I dumped my car into a guardrail on I71. Told gf to bail and call someone. She got away. Obviously I couldn't. Had about 10 Maryland state troopers at the scene, and I proceeded to shit myself. One officer smells it, goes "did you shit yourself". I go "yeah", and they make me throw off my pants and boxers into the woods off the road. Now I'm standing there butt fucking naked in the middle of the interstate with a shrunken chode and shitstains all over my ass from drinking all day and the obvious nervousness of the situation and all I can think about is "man, all the cops and people going by think I have a little dick". They called backup to get me a new pair of pants lol. Somehow, I got shit on my shirt, which they missed, and I spent the entire next day in the lobby of the Washington County District Court of Maryland and watched every dreg of society walk in and out of their for the day.Shit yourself? Tell the world your story...
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