Submitted by ShitShatPaddyWack (europe, Some State) on 03.25.14
So, I had felt a bit constipated before I went out but was sure I would be okay. The exercise would hopefully loosen me up a bit and help. Did all the shopping I needed and started heading back home then, all of sudden the constipation snapped and became lucid gassy poop bouncing off the walls of my innards. One of those rare occasions where clenching of butt cheeks just won’t help out. I started to sweat, my ass was sweating, by stomach was bubbling, I needed to pee and it was fighting against poop to be the first one out. I started to tremble and every waking mile on the road looking for a poopshack was seeming like forever. As I went faster I started to feel sick too, it was a losing battle. Then I saw a place that I know, a shop that I know has a reasonable clean toilet. I pulled in quite fast and on the final roundabout, my body was tense and I just shit and shit and shit and shit and shit. Did I mention that my daughter was sitting next to me, yes she was. I had to announce that I had just shit my pants on a roundadbout. I was very apologetic and she was wonderfully considerate and reassuring about it all. I had made room in my bowels and the sweats paused for a bit. My daughter fetched a towel out from the boot/trunk for me to sit on and we started to head home which was about 25 minutes away.
About 10 minutes in the drive it started to happen again, I just don't know where it all came from but I shit and shit and shit again until they was shit in every crevice that I have. I pulled into a sort of industrial area where I know it is quite. I did a bit more shitting and then asked my daughter to jump out while I sort myself out. I climbed out and took off my clothes, all of them full of shit. My daughter passed me a bag and I put my shitty clothes inside.
I asked her if there might happen to be another towel in the car and to my amazement there was. I wrapped the towel around me now only wearing a shirt and we got back in the car. Feeling a bit calmer I looked around and I actually wasn't in the quiet place I thought I was. I was under flood lights and there were 10's if not 100's of cars. We sped off and no sooner than we hit the road again I needed to pee real bad. By this time we had hit the country roads and I had to pull in on a slipway. I jumped out with a towel around me on to an embankment and ran to the back of the car to do the business. Holy shit, the some cars came up the road with headlights lighting me up in a towel and I ran to the front of the car. So there I am covered in shit, in a towel looking into the windscreen as my daughter looks out. My towel blows up and I think it just can't get any worse. I run to the back of the car and I start to pee. I felt release and then I needed to shit again. Soooo I ran around a corner of shrubs and I hankered down and shit and shit and shit and shit all over again.
After a shameful drive home, I had to go into the house and I let my daughter tell my wife while I took a shower. I finished up cleaning myself, the car and then I had to take my shitty clothes up to the bins but first I had to open the bag, find the top of my trousers so that I could dip in my hand and pull out my wallet. I think I shit on my wallet too. I had to empty the contents and throw it away.
So I lost pants, shorts, t-shirt, socks and a wallet and x2 towels. This is a very true story that has just happened. I am in bed, my sphincter is contracting still and aching and I think I can hear my wife and daughter downstairs pissing themselves.
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