Submitted by BearTurd (nyc, NY) on 02.16.14
I'm a big fan of getting hammered drunk which leads to any number of medical consequences, not the least of which is the occasional self-crapulation. One night after some hard drinking, a friend dropped my off at my parents' house where I was staying while home for the holidays. I could feel the monster growing in my stomach for some time but was confined to the car and unable to emancipate the beast. When we finally made it to my driveway, it was obvious that I wasn't going to be able to make it up two flights of stairs to a proper facility and as such , I squatted and birthed something akin to Heather Mills' leg in the bushes next to our house. I was relieved and oddly satisfied with myself. Like Lincoln, I freed something brown. The next day my dad woke me up to go out side and "Check out the huge bear turd" he found. It wasn't a bear, dad. It was me. I did that.
Vote:Yeah! You Shit the *Shit* out of yourself! 433 Not So Much 463
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