Submitted by alcofunk (london, Some State) on 12.03.12
Bit of a long one but here goes lol I was 15 and dating the girl of my dreams, I would often not go 2 school so instead I would wait 4 her 2 meet me at a park near her school, we had had an argument the past day so it was vital I met her and said sorry lol 5 mins before her school finnishes I start getting that asshole pushing sensation, that 10 minute warning u need the toilet, 5 mins later I can see school kids in the distance and by then the sensation 2 shit was overwhelming, I pased around looking 4 somewhere 2 shit but nohere was secluded enough and I couldn't risk her seeing me in that state, so I ran out the park and towards the nearest bust stop, with clenched but cheeks I must add, lucky I only had to wait 2 mins before a bus came but the bad thing was I was surrounded by school kids and the dam bus was packed, I had 2 stand up! About 7 mins into the journey my stomach felt like mike tyson was punching it and my asshole was twitching like mad! But I had 2 try keep a calm face infront of these people, anyway I got off the bus in order to get the next bus to my house, yeah that's right a 2 bus journey in my state! Lucky again the bus came quick and I got a seat...next to a very nice looking woman! Half way threw the journey I was in so much pain, barely holding this shit in, farts started squeezing out making a horrible screeching burp sound, hard to explain, anyway I don't think the woman thought they were farts as farts don't ever sound like that haha but yeah it was finally time 2 get off the bus, so I did and my it was painful using stomach muscles! So now I'm off the bus and my house is litterally 2 mins up a hill, a very steap hill and then down a short road, I hastily but carefully dragged myself up the hill wilst using all my will to control my anus, at this point I didn't care how stupid I looked to the public as I was willing to do anything to keep this shit from exploding, so I made it to the top of the hill and turned left, that's when it happened, my asshole relaxed for a brief second and a squirt of what felt like lumpy mash potato spread around my under pants, luckily I regained control quickly, the pain was unbarable at this moment and to make it worse a woman was coming towards me, I couldn't cross the road coz I would surely explode and even my lungs felt surrounded by shit, anyway she got withing 2 inches of me before it happened again, this time it was a fart slash semi liquid attack and oooh did she notice! I decided to say fuck it and sprint, I made it to my house but by then my asshole was constantly dripping but slowly as I used every muscle I had 2 hold the leek, but that's not it people! I didn't have my keys on me and I couldn't bare the thought of letting the rest of this shit go in my pant and waiting 4 my mum to come home n open the door, so, lucky again lol there was an entrance into my back garden but the door didn't open, but its ok, in my rage I slammed my shoulder into it and made it threw, still squeezing droplets of shit out my ass, I didn't know what 2 do so I plonked myself behind a little brick wall, forced my trousers n undies down as the semi dry shit peeled off my legs n ass and then...aaaah! Like a massive brown icecream made of fire this shit curled out forming a pyramid like shape on the floor, it was massive! An elephant would be proud! Oh but the feeling of relief was so good! My organs were back where they belonged and my legs were shaking like I ran a marathon, but as all this happened I heared my mum coming threw the hallway, so I had to slide my cold semy dry shitty pants n trousers back on and approach her but stay at a distance lol ile wrap this up now folks, basically I let them enter the house 1st, I went in last n ran to the toilet where I cleaned myself up and threw my shitty clothes in the bath and I was in there for at least an hour sorting me out, thinking of a story and washing clothes lol I ended up giving up and leaving them in the bath, clean, and saying hey mum the reason I was in there is coz I stepped in dog shit n then fell on it at football soo I had 2 clean it lol and just at that point my girlfriend knocked at the door, very angry with me and well we went 2 my room to argue lol and I couldn't tell her I shit myself and that's why I didn't show up soo I just said I'm sorry I 4got....so that's my shit story, worst thing is shitting yourself man!
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